Tents are hard. And so is writing.

I love Russell from Disney/Pixar's movie UP. Because, "When we get to the falls, you're going to feel SOO assisted."

Now for the real reason I'm writing this post.

I've been moving faster than I ever have on the current novel I'm working on. It's pouring out of me. Not perfectly mind you, but it is coming. Which I believe is 95% of the battle. And did you know that 78% of statistics are made up on the spot?

It's been a privilege to get to know my character. To understand what she's going through, and to help her find a way to some sort of resolution. But at the resolution, I am not. I'm smack dab in the heart of it. Feeling the pain. Seeing in my mind every little thing that happens to her.

I can smell it. I can taste it. And earlier today I had to stop writing it. For a little while. It's hard stuff right now.
I try to push through it. To close my eyes and let my fingers speed through some of the hardest moments. I find myself holding my breath. Feeling panic. Anxiety. And sorrow. So much sadness. Because what is coming from my fingers really does happen.

Maybe that's the hardest part. Knowing there are children who live this life. I find myself in parts of it. Take away the flesh and many people will see a familiarity of their own childhood gone terribly wrong.

I don't think there has been a time in my life previous to this where I would have felt strong enough to write this. I have many loved ones that I can thank for much of my own healing. And two specifically who have guided me to this point.

Writing can be every kind of emotion.

Today it was pain.