The heated moment of murder!

So it was the annual, move the couch and clean under it day. (Possibly I do it more than once a year but considering how much junk was underneath it, I'm questioning my title as Housewife.)

There were 8 holes in my wall, possibly more but I'm not getting up to verify. Apparently the pinewood one by one's in the back of the couch had given way and exposed the sharp nails to my wall. Piece of junk!!

The destruction I'm sure had nothing to do with having 3 boys that don't recognize that couches are for sitting, and when you do sit, it shouldn't be on top of the couch. I'm blaming "the man" for some kind of union labor laws that required exportation of labor to a country that can't nail one by one's correctly. Stupid country lacking basic nailing skills!

So maybe the couch could've been salvaged, I'm pretty handy and love fixing things, cars, trailors, and in general messing around with stuff. But there was anger! Anger I tell you! Lots of anger! Stupid anger!

I grabbed a knife, not really a sharp one because we don't really own any of those, but a big one nonetheless.

I punctured the back of the couch and slashed violently. (reality check: dull knife, the slashing wasn't so fluid, which increased the anger, stupid dull knife.)

After the complete destruction and death of the couch I found inside it's guts a pair of socks, .23 cents, legos, marbles, and other things that will remain undescribed. (See above doubt on the term Housewife.)

Where does this violence come from? I'm blaming Alane Ferguson. I had just read one of her books. (she's a good writer)

Good news is the couch's corpse was immediately taken into the backyard and turned into a fort. Because really, I must rid all doubt with the neighbors that we are PWT (Poor White Trash), and what says that better than having a ripped up couch in your back yard? (It's going to the dump today)

Am I guilty of murder? Absolutely. Do I care? Not in the least. When I have to pay for a new one maybe the remourse will kick in. (Proly not.) Ha ha ha!